Begging for Fall

Begging for Fall

Wow, what a ride. I am very well aware of the fact that this entry is somewhat overdue. However, that would be the OCD tendencies coming out in me because in a “blog”, one should feel free to write entries at their leisure right? I am however also aware of how frustrating it is when you are following a blog to check it over and over and continuously be disappointed that nothing new has been added. I doubt very seriously that any of you check this page often enough to be labeled frequently, but nonetheless, this is indeed an endeavor that I wanted to pursue. It was on my bucket list so here I am and there you are. You poor thing. So we have been through so much and accomplished so much since I was last able to write. First and foremost I have officially GRADUATED!!! Family Nurse Practitioner…..FINALLY!!!! I think my three guys are happier than me, they were really sick of seeing me study and hearing me whine about it non-stop. In addition to that, just to put the pretty little red cherry on top of my whipped cream, I PASSED MY CERTIFICATION exam!!! J This makes me Nationally Board Certified and unbelievably happy! I was shaking in my boots to say the least in preparation for that blessed exam. Tim was so supportive throughout all this and even drove me to my exam which was an hour and a half away and was scheduled to take me 4 grueling hours to complete. This exam only costs $385.00 to register for and I had to register for it 8 weeks ago. It is pass or fail, you get no # score. If you fail, you have a waiting period of 90 days before you can attempt again. I didn’t ask what happens if you fail it the 2^nd time. No pressure, right? Good, cuz I choke under pressure. That is precisely why I was a home health nurse rather than an ER nurse. Makes complete sense, right? So, once we hit the interstate, I can no longer speak. If I opened my mouth, the tears that are welling up in my eyes were sure to fall and then I am done. Toast. So, my cheerleader drives in silence while I simultaneously pray and cram the final few facts possible in my brain which is swelling in response to the enormous amount of information that I have loaded into it, all the while wiping sweat from the palms of my hands and trying my best to swallow the vomit that is determined to erupt like a boiling volcano. Tim drops me off with a “good luck babe! You got this!” and there I go, walking into what feels like a scheduled execution. Literally. Nothing short of a pat down when I get in there, I even have to turn my pockets inside out. There are video cameras with audio in my face for the duration of the exam recording every movement and sigh that escapes and periodically, a staff member of the testing center will walk behind me, startling me from my deep concentration just to complete their “walk through”. One hundred and seventy-five impossible questions later, my hands tremble as I offer my last plea to God resting the curser over “submit”. I am physically numb. I literally place my hand gently over my chest to make sure I can still fell a heart beat. It’s still there, beating as if on command. So, assuming I must still be alive and apparently this is indeed not a dream, I make the eternally long walk to the front desk to check out. As if I am leaving a prison visitation (not that I would know from experience, just tv) I am asked to return my issued scrap paper and pencil to the appropriate slot and sign out with the appropriate time. I can’t stand it one moment longer, I have to ask. So I ask, “can you please just tell me if I passed?”. He takes his sweet time as apparently nothing else is pressing on his work schedule. When he finishes reading the sanctified piece of paper and tells me that I pass, suddenly my heart wakes up and begins pounding out of control in my chest, surely he could see it trembling through my shirt. My knees were so weak, I thought surely they wouldn’t hold the weight that I had trusted them with. The vomit that I had been swallowing back threatened to make its presence known once again. Then the tears come to the stage. Needless to say, it was quite an emotional moment for me. So much was counting on the outcome of that hour and a half of my life. I wobble out to the parking lot searching for my escort and best friend. He is there, of course, waiting patiently. I get in the truck and it must be all over my face, he said “I knew you would do it”. He had a congratulations card ready in the seat for me. I was impressed with his level of faith in me, as there were several times in the past week including the ride to the site that I had convinced myself that there was no way in this world I would possibly be able to pull this off. The ride home was much shorter.

~Enough about me. ~


The following day, Ty and Luke had their very first football game with the new school. It didn’t go so well. Ty started as quarterback for the first time in his life. He was doing great until the 2^nd quarter when he got blind-sided and knocked the good sense out of him! They thought he had a concussion but he really just got hit hard and had to come out of the game because he was so shaken up. We got him back together and he is good as new. In the meantime, while Ty is freaking out in sheer horror that something maybe wrong, Luke is on the sidelines, praying to God that the coach doesn’t put him in. Literally. So, we don’t have a game this week, hopefully this will give him plenty of time to get himself back together again! They also lost their grandfather last week to cancer. They handled it well as we had prepared them that although God is in the miracle business, sometimes He allows people to die from such illnesses. They are both busy as I type away working on their homework assignments. Dove season is just around the corner and they are pumped. The girls are coming down and I can’t wait! We have invited a few other people and I certainly hope to have a house full of peeps!! Went to the grocery store today, just in case! Tim has been working on the dove field getting it ready for the hunt. We also hit the pavement again today, handing out my resume to anything that resembles a hospital or medical clinic. Praying for a job to come through soon and have had some interviews. In the mean time, I will anxiously await my license in the mail, enjoy the last days of true freedom I will ever have, and trust God to meet our needs financially and physically. Also praying for God to speak to our hearts on where and how He can use us in this world. Our hearts desire to be a part of missions, great or small. I am once again enjoying the simpler things in life and am finally able to slow down and smell the roses so to speak. Enjoyed a pep rally at the boys’ school the other day. Begging for a drop in the temperature, waiting and watching for the leaves to turn brown and turn lose. Praying for the Lord’s blessing on our corn crop for Laken Farms. We are just around the corner from harvest. They are cutting some corn here on Horseshoe and the smell is awesome. This summer has been miserably hot, but we are seriously trying not to complain for we know the Lord has control over all things. I am loving life and taking it all in. So thankful for my blessings and my precious family. It is indescribable to watch my adorable boys grow into faithful young men of God. They are indeed growing so fast. So I urge you today, because we all know so well just how fragile life is, to hug your family members a little tighter today. Kiss em goodbye and tell em that you love them, even if they know. If you are reading this, first I thank you for not giving up, I do know it’s long and more importantly know that I DO LOVE YOU!!!

p.s. for those of you poor souls that are begrudged with the task of keeping up with our fertility efforts, I decided to postpone my appointment as the stress and excitement is still winding down. We thought it would be more responsible and smarter to wait until the Lord provides me with a job as well as Health Insurance before we continue to pursue this seemingly impossible feat. Thanks for hanging in there with us. Know that I have not given up hope and still want a baby with every fiber of my being. And I will get one, you can count on that J

Serve Him with all you have,

jo

Gotta start somewhere

I have wanted to start this blog for two years. Each time I try to start, I freeze; having no clue where to start! Then tonight, I think, you know what, that is the purpose of having your own blog. You run the show!! So here we go, not that anyone would be interested anyway. We'll see where it goes!! My prayer is that it somehow brings honor and glory to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
    

As I envision my morning 2 mile walk, things that come to mind are the crisp cool air, a slight breeze against my cheek, those sweets chirping birds serenading me, the smell of corn ready for harvest filling the air. Now take that wonderful vision to a screeching halt and let me tell you what it was actually like. The air smells like corn alright, but it’s so darn thick it weighs down my lungs and makes the effort of breathing a workout in itself. The birds are chirping a cry for help as they dehydrate. There is not the slightest breeze caressing my cheek, only large beads of sweat leading to other places on my body that they are not welcome.  Gunner is panting heavily and wondering to himself why on God’s green Earth he decided to accompany me on this miserable journey. I make it through, however, lifting up my pitiful prayer requests to the Lord as I trudge along. Then a pleasant peace falls sweetly on my soul as I am talking with my Lord and I realize just how blessed I am. I know so many people that dread aging and who would give almost anything to go back to a certain period in their life, maybe their “prime” as they call it. Not me. I look forward with great anticipation to what God has in store for my family and I. I have been blessed with a marriage that is centered around Christ and grows sweeter with every day that passes. Each day, I think there is no way possible I could love him anymore, but when I wake up the next morning, I DO!!! It’s simply amazing. Some days, it takes my breath away. I try to take it all in, soak it all up. I never want to take it for granted. I look at my sweet Tim and realize that he is getting cuter as he gets older! He says he is getting wrinkles, but lucky for him they only add character to a man as he ages.  As adorable as he was on the day we met, it just gets better and better. I look so forward to growing old with him. Trying to envision what type of routine we will have when our kids have left the Johnson pad (I am certain, however, that they will not stray far). Will he join me with my coffee in the mornings? Probably not, but hey, this IS MY dream right? Right.  I look forward to him riding me around Horseshoe just to look at the crops. I wonder what Laken Farms will be in 10 years. I wonder what my clinic will be in 10 years. How old will Olivia be? Who will my boys have married? As I ponder these things, it becomes apparent to me that maybe I have entered the “straw hat” phase of my life. You know the point in which you go for comfort rather “cute”. I am just fine with this phase of my life! So much has changed over the past 12 months as my journey will school is drawing to an end, it’s exciting to think what lies ahead for our sweet family!! The boys have open house this Thursday and will start school Monday. This is a new school for them, so I am sure they are nervous. Their momma has em covered in prayer though!! They will shine, I have no doubt. Football practice has been brutal to say the least. With the extreme temps outside, those boys have a lot of heart as they give their all during these practice days. Ty is back up QB and starting corner (not exactly sure what that means, but “starting” anywhere makes a mom super proud!). Luke is guard or tackle and for 7^th grade, that is awesome!! Keep in mind too, that he has NEVER played football. As I am sure it is very evident, my heart bursts with pride for my boys. They are incredible young men of Christ and I can hardly wait to see the things they will accomplish for the Lord.  Faye comes tomorrow with her two little munchkins and we are super excited!! I am certainly looking forward to relaxing with them for a while!! Well, I am certain that you are exhausted from reading all of this mumbo jumbo; that is assuming you didn’t give up after the first few sentences!! I urge each of you to be all that you can be for the Lord, not for man. Give it your all; leave it all on the field.

p.s. my doctor’s appointment got rescheduled for 8-16-11 at 130. Leaving it in God’s hands

Until next time with my love,

aj