The beginning of a new Journey; Prayerful, not Anxious

On my last post, I spoke of the plans that the Lord has for us. Plans to prosper and not harm you, to give you hope and a future. That is found in Jeremiah 29:11 in the precious word of our Lord. I find great comfort in that scripture as we begin a new leg in our journey to expand our family. We have two precious boys that are 15 and 12. They became mine four years ago when they lost their mother in a tragic car accident. I married their father and I couldn't love theses guys any more if I birthed them myself. That is a gift that was given to me by my precious mother when she took me on when she married my father; I was 2 yrs old. We were a package deal, my daddy and me. My momma loves me just the same as my brothers that she birthed. You would never know the difference. Little did I know, this was our amazing Lord and Saviour preparing me for motherhoood in such a special and unique way. So the burning desire rooted deep within my soul to become pregnant and have a child continues to grow with each passing day. We have been trying to conceive for 3 1/2 years and taken fertility drugs galore. God just keeps saying "not yet, Amy jo" and I keep asking. Since so much time has passed, I have several times now asked the Lord to remove the desire from my heart if this isn't His will for our lives. Each morning, I rise and it is still ever present and increasing. I believe with all that I am that a baby is indeed in God's will for our family. When and how is for us to live out and experience. I know and also believe there is a purpose in it all. So this past week, we met with a fertility specialist who told us what we already know - that we have "unexplained infertility". In other words, you can't get pregnant and we don't know why. So his plan is to start me on Femara. I will take my 4th dose today and my final dose tomorrow. I diligently pray as I swallow each pill.The coming week holds unforeseen excitement as we anticipate our very first IUI (intrauterine insemination)! I am so nervous and anxious about it. The next two weeks will be a grueling long waiting period to see if it was successful. 14 whole days to find out if we are pregnant. Talk about nerve wracking. So, I am an anxious person anyway, I decided to come up with a plan that would help me stay focused during this difficult waiting period. Because not only am I wound up pretty tight, I'm pretty impatient as well! So, I reached for my Bible and was led to Phillipians 4:6, do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God.  Then I read a little more and it tells me that the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ. That is huge. Those words penetrate my heart and soul and I feel a soothing calmness gently flowing through my veins. My heart rate slows, my mind stops racing, and peace fills my heart. It is important that I recognize that the peace only comes as a result of not being anxious but prayerful. So I will begin an intense spiritual journey today and daily seek Christ diligently and relentlessly as I am determined to keep my focus on Him and not myself. After the next 21 days, regardless of the outcome, I should be a changed woman. For the better of course. Hopefully, I will be pregnant and either way, I will become closer to God so it's a win win situation! Thanks for stopping by. My plan is to pen my thoughts each day so I will be held accountable to my plan and to make it easier to monitor my progress in this very special Spiritual Journey.